Jo On the Go

On the go solo

I'm on Day 2 of a solo trip to Costa Rica. Before I left, people assumed I was going with either The Hubs or with The Bitches or even with The Mom. When I told them I was heading out alone I got a lot of "But why? You have a lot of friends? Or in IM convos, a lot of ":(!!!"

While traveling solo isn't always my first choice, I don't think it *shouldn't* be a choice altogether. I like the freedom it gives -- I can sleep in...or not. I can eat breakfast at 1 pm or lunch at 4...or 10 am. I can laze around or push my energy limits. And no one can say anything. I don't have to ask what anyone wants to do, I just go. I don't have to worry if someone is bored at the activity I chose or wants to have a certain food for dinner...or have dinner at all.

Like last night, after a crazy flight plan to even get to Tamarindo, which is in the northwestern part of Costa Rica, I got tired and crashed...and then woke up at 2 am and then didn't sleep untl 5 am. Know what I did at 2 am? I *turned on* the lights and read. For three hours. If anyone would have been with me they would have just groaned and then the next morning, looked at me with weary eyes while holding in their grumble for keeping them half awake in the wee early morning hours.

And then, when I got up at 7 am to run, I had no one asking when I'd be back for breakfast, or that it was too dark to run or, or, or! For a blissful week, I really do answer to no one, which is fab.

But I do admit that travelling solo, especially if you're female, you have to keep a lot of things in mind. People assume a lot of things when you are travelling solo -- you're sad or you arrived here with someone but you either got into a fight with your friend or you and your boyfriend broke up and...you're sad.

So I've been jotting down things to keep in mind when you're traveling solo as a chick and will update my blog as I think of more.

So far I have:

Tip #1:Splurge

Not talking about a free pass to buy Gucci sandals or the Rolex you've been wanting but little things to ease your travel -- take a cab instead of the local bus. (Unless you get brave, like me, and want to see how the locals roll) Or stay in a nicer hotel. This doesn't just provide an additional layer of safety but also helps when you have heavy luggage.

Work as therapy doesn't always -- work.

My work, though a source of pride and well, obsession, for me is also a form of therapy. Since the days where I worked myself though university I have used work to fill my days and many, many nights when I've been stressed and worried about other things in my life.

There's a theory that Asians are good a math because it's finite, concrete. Numbers don't change, while nuances in language do.

It's the same with work for me. It's the only thing that doesn't fluctuate. (All my friends in PR will laugh now, as our field is always in flux!) But really, for me, it's my security blanket.

And I've been hugging that security blanket really tightly the past couple of months. Plowing through a 15 hour workday helps me not think of doctor's visits, family turmoil and fear of what's currently going on with my life. Luckily (for me or for my clients, I'm still not sure) I've been pretty busy. Lots of project management, launches and media relations has been keeping me blissfully happy.

But I'm leaving for Costa Rica in a little over a week. I'll have nothing but a backpack full of books and a handful of clothing to keep me company. Well, that and my thoughts.

We'll see how it goes. I had originally planned to spend my week in CR meandering through some forest but after I read about the GINORMOUS bugs there, I decided to just head to a little surf town and lie blissfully in a hammock.

I'm not good at relaxation. It's counter productive for me. The more I concentrate on relaxing, the more antsy I get to do something -- anything! This is also the first time in a looooooooooooooooooooooooong time that I'll be traveling solo. In a way, I'm kind of really happy to go on a trip with the old me as my traveling partner.

But for the now, I have work on the brain and on the laptop.

I wonder if I still have time to buy a Netbook...

The Bucket List

When I was in my teens, I made a list of goals I wanted to accomplish. Things like 'Get published and/or Have a byline by the time I am 20" or "Go to at least 3 different countries" or "Live in another country for at least a year." (I've done all those, by the way)

But recent events have me thinking of my mortality. I don't have any solid answers but I've always been the person to have plans. (Much to the chagrin of my husband and sometimes, most of my friends and family) So I started thinking of a new list. One that was much like the list I made back when I was 14. I've only named it the bucket list (Which is a name for a list you create of things you want to go before you 'kick the bucket' -- before you die)

So I think I'll start this now, and see which my friends and family can add or take away. I'll be adding to it as the days go by. Please feel free to chime in, I love others' thoughts on this. Rather than being morose or sad, I think creating a list like this actually helps me. It seems hopeful in some way, provides me with a view of things I still have to do.

Because...I want more time.

Jo's Bucket List

1. Ride a motorcycle
2. Get my pilot's license
3. Pet a kangaroo
4. Learn how to change a tire
5. Run a 5k
6. Raise a puppy
7. Watch the sunset from a mountaintop
8. Travel to all the continents in the world
9. Grill a pizza successfully
10. Take drum lessons and play in a drum circle
11. Go on an exotic vacay with my girls
12. Learn what exactly an exhaust manifold does
13. Attend adult Space Camp
14. Jump static line one more time
15. See the Rolling Stones in concert
16. Learn the difference between whiskies/scotches
17. Snowboard in Colorado
18. See Montana (I know this is unusual but I've always wanted to see this state, I don't know why)
19. Meet my long lost biological siblings (I believe there are two that are rumored to exist but I've never met..)
20. Cook an eight-course meal for my closest friends
21. Buy 2000 threadcount Egyptian cotton sheets. (I have 1500)
22. Hold a newborn baby for the first (DONE -- I thought this would be finished whenever I would have my own child, but Jen's baby Andrew was the first newborn I'd ever held. Most peaceful feeling I've ever had)

What am I missing? I still need to add to this list.

Oh geeze

November, 2008.

That's the last time I write a blog post. Really?!

So much has happened since then that I'm really sad I didn't take the time to blog about them. I did Tweet the whole time, which is probably why I didn't bother to write a longer, more in-depth post.

But as much as Twitter satisfies my instant-gratification addiction, there's still this need to really put down what I'm up to and to delve into what's been going on -- the craziness of running my own gig, the changes I've gone through in health, friendships and just life at (cough cough) being in my 30's. I think this year, out of all years, I've come into my own and I *finally* don't feel like I have to apologize for feeling and thinking the things that I do. It's a weird thing for me and I'm looking forward to exploring that more.

My blog has gone to shit. Bah!

My neighbor, Cior, alerted me to all the 'black holes' I'd literally been leaving as posts on my blog. Silly me, I thought I could take crazy photos from a darkened bar in Las Vegas and let that make up for the fact I've been too busy to actually, I dunno, write something.

Not that I mean to sound bitter. 12-15 hours days for the past 2 months isn't my idea of fun, but at least it's for a good cause. And by a good cause, I mean Me.

Yup. I've let loose. I've unhitched. I've started consulting.

While the idea of consulting has tempted me for a while, I've always stayed in either the In-house or Agency realm. Now I'm representing some slammin' start-ups as well as still consulting for my beloved 6A, which rocks. Consulting for 6A is like eating some non-dairy, nonfat ice cream that actually tastes good -- all the sin, but no fat!

Consulting has had it's ups and downs. The ups is *supposedly* I have more 'control' over my schedule. The reality is that I'm working more hours than I ever have but soothe myself into thinking that at least it's for me and not for one organization/company/agency.

Oh yeah, and I didn't get paid the first month. No fault to my clients. I'm a newbie at this. A newbie that's used to being on someone's payroll. Someone who's used to getting a check like clockworld.

Except when, you know, you're NOT on payroll and you have do something called invoicing. Which I totally forgot to do my first month. All those books The Hubs bought me on how to run your own small business? Ignored.

It's undeniably easier to help someone else's business than your own. My friend Andy would kick my ass if he knew this...or laugh uncontrollably. Probably both. He's been a source of constant advice and support. As well as Nic...and Malou...in fact, everyone has been so incredibly supportive.

So aside from the fact that I haven't really seen anyone lately or that I saw The Hubs for a TOTAL of three hours last week, it's been really great so far. You know, aside from the not getting paid part. But live and learn, right? ;)

Fingers crossed!

Finally! An update from Southeast Asia!

I don't know if it's been a blessing or a curse but due to really slow Internet connections in Cambodia and Malaysia, I haven't been able to blog or even upload any photos. I suppose it's the "Forces that be" making me to really 'unplug' and enjoy this vacation. Besides, I don't know how much of my marriage would last if I had spend most of the time in an Internet cafe instead of truly honeymooning with The Hubs.

Because I don't want to go back and post about all that's happened in a lengthy post, here's some highlights:

• Met up with Ryan and his girlfriend in Bangkok at a Laotian restaurant. We proceeded to drink many, many (read: MANY) beers. Since the restaurant didn't have any special celebration for honeymoons, Ryan had them think it was Nico's bday and we were serenaded by the band and followed the Lao tradition of each person tying a white string on the celebrant's wrist as a sign of blessing/good wishes. (Hmm, haven't The Hubs and I done that before? ;))
• Cambodia was in one word, amazing. Phnom Phen was hard to take as the main thing we did there was visit the Killing Fields of the Khmer Rouge. At one point, I had to walk away to collect myself. The emotions you get when you hear about the torture and killing...it's overwhelming. The photos of all the victims, especially the children, will haunt me forever. What is even more haunting is that this happened in the LATE 1970's. At one point, our guide, 'T' said that no one in the world wanted to help because "Cambodia is a poor country and we didn't have anything the rest of the world wanted so they didn't pay attention to what was happening." Makes you think about Darfur a lot differently, no?
• Angkor Wat is one of the most amazing sights I have ever seen in my life. The sheer manpower that it took to build the temples, the feeling of holiness and history is indescribable.
• Kuala Lumpur was a bit of a shock to us, coming from sleepy little Cambodia. The modern buildings and general busyness of a normal metropolitan city was rather different from 'downtown' Phnom Phen where the main drinking/eating quarter was *maybe* 4/5 blocks. Good thing we met with Daniel and crew. Daniel is a serial entrepreneur and is very involved with Malaysia's tech scene -- from its businesses to barcamps. I think The Hubs might have killed me but it was fun to talk tech and get the temperature on this side of the world on blogging, Twitter and microblogging and exchange ideas and opinions on where tech is going. Plus, they were just a lovely bunch! (And Daniel took us to places that have ended up being some of the best food we've had on this trip!) And yes, D, I'm soooo a Kaya monster now!!! Kay-a! Kay-a!
• Nico got bit by a monkey in Malaysia. He's ok but it's a long story. :)
• Saw the amazing kelip kelip (fireflies) in Kuala Selangor. One of the smallest species of firefly and only found in this part of Malaysia and ONLY on a certain type of tree. At first, I thought they were playing a joke -- that it had to be Christmas lights strung in the trees. Millions of fireflies everywhere. We were in a small wooden boat, on some river in the middle of a Malaysian province -- and was enthralled by the tiniest of insects.
• After hardcore travelling, we decided to spend the rest of our trip on the Thai islands. For some reason, coming to Koh Samui calms us. What's more, we've seen some of the folks who ran the small resort we stayed at three years ago for almost a month. The bartender's family opened a mini-resort not more than a month ago and hooked us up with a airconditioned bungalow close to the pool for $15 a night. Everything is brand spanking new and a two minute walk to the beach. The cook from the old place has opened her own restaurant and we eat or drink there at least once a day. The fun thing is that they remember us and we spent the first day just drinking beers and hanging out with them and catching up on where everyone is -- and catching up on all the gossip.
• We starting tpo think about buying a place here in Koh Samui. We talked to someone who answered a lot of our questions on 'Farangs" (foreigners) buying property on the island. We'll see.
• Today Nico and I rented a Jeep and are driving around the island. We're currently in Lamai, the second largest beach on the island. The water at the beach is bathwater warm but after laying out for exactly six minutes, even I was burning up and we decided to get lunch ($5 for amazing Thai curry, satay, pad thai!) and get our Internet fix on.

So there you go. Small snippets of our trip. Definately not all, we're hoping to have beers with everyone so we can catch up when we get home. (And not poking fun at how dark I've become -- or how pale Nico still is! ;))

Cheers and Beers,

J

Honeymoon, here we come!

Three more days and counting! The Hubs and I are finally heading out for our three week honeymoon!

Up until about a month ago, we thought we were heading to Central America, with a side trip to Cuba. However, I started wondering why I wasn't excited about the trip whenever we talked about it, when we bought out backpacks, when we were looking at the accomodations -- I always seemed lukewarm.

Then as we were about to click 'purchase' for our tickets, we started talking about going back to Southeast Asia. We had considered this option before, but we kept convincing ourselves to go somewhere new. Discover foreign lands we'd never been to. But the more we talked about Thailand and Southeast Asia, the more we got excited about heading there for our honeymoon.

So we're heading to Southeast Asia for a short trip but added countries we've never been to before: Cambodia, Malaysia and Singapore. I'm trying to focus on all the things I need to do at work and otherwise before the trip but the pile of 'vacation clothes' on our guest bed keeps me smiling.

What's more, I'm planning on meeting some great TypePad bloggers on the way and some other bloggers in Cambodia. Very excited!

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Mom